A new beginning(again)

I have been out of jail now for a little over a week. 90 days for not reporting to probation...actually it was a total of a year for this offense, 9 months last year and the 3 I just did. Getting out of jail is one of the greatest feelings ever...but it comes with a steep price tag.

I am 35 years old with a hefty rap sheet. The worst and most memorable charge was an aggravated assault in 05. The details leading up to the assault are unimportant right now(I'll visit that in another entry)but on a bleak night in early March 2005 I entered a man's house and beat him without mercy. Brass knuckles were used, the aftermath  was that John would have bled to death had the EMT's not been called. At the ER John was put back together with 20 some staples, not stitches. He has permanent scarring, a collapsed cheekbone and some minor neurological damage from the attack.

Over the years as a result of much introspection I became painfully aware of my error. That I not only committed senseless violence upon someone, but I had entered his home, violated his sanctuary and taken that security away from him, not to mention the physical scars. I am not proud of what I did...and I would of course handle the situation differently if it was on my plate today.

As a result of not making a statement on my self upon arrest, and the fact that I was prepared to go to trial the district attorney gave me a deal I couldn't turn down after doing the better part of a year in jail. They offered to drop the charges down to simple assault & criminal trespass, give me 9 to 18 months in jail with 6 years probation to follow.

As the old saying goes: "thats how they getcha"...And I have been on probation for that case since. I've also been to jail frequently since then, not for breaking laws but for breaking rules. Most of my violations have been for not reporting to probation...in all I have probably done close to 2 years since 05 due to not reporting to probation.

I was turned in last year(2010)...sat for 9 months, was let out before I should have been and just served the remainder of the sentence(sept to dec). I am free with no real fear of having to return to jail. I am at a crossroads...time to do the 9 to 5 life, ready to live that way. I am currently putting in applications to secure a job to get some income rolling in, whether its a job I like or one with a future doesn't matter at this point...I'll just be happy to get on a schedule even if its food service for now, something else will come along eventually. I'll keep writing, get back into making art...attempt to make music here and there. I'm not the kind of person who gives up being himself...it's just a new era for me.