Ahhhh...Western Pennsylvania, such a love/hate relationship we have. As my time here comes to a close I am at peace with this little slice of hell. Though I was too young to really remember it, this is where I formed my first memories.
Big Kev DEK will be here in a matter of weeks to do a guest spot at Electric Empire tattoos, to that end I am looking forward to getting a chest piece from Kev and a throat piece/cover up from Jonnie Frederick...and after that I am officially calling it quits with Pa. Thanx for the good times, tattoos, kids and time in jail...but its time for this Dead End Kid to move on.
Luckily I have a homie in Brooklyn that is helping me roll up there...getting down promoting shows, doing merch for Merauder, painting and working with PorVida clothing. Of course I will be working to progress my own art and music as well as pushing Dead End Kids and Stay Fast.
I am looking forward to working with new people, I have a top secret collabo in the works with a mad notorious clothing label...and some acoustic shit dropping soon as well.
Not much else to say...I'll drop another post before leaving. Tiahui!!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Absolute Power Corrupts, Absolutely
Lightweight re-addressing the goings on at Butler County Prison...It was a point that I was trying to make that it was the unchecked power at BCP that created the current mess they are dealing with. You are bound to have some corrupt individuals at any work place, and to think this isn't the case just because these people wear badges to work is naive. Added to this is that prisoners are looked at as low caste individuals in this county and we have our unpleasantness at BCP.
I have seen too much over the years to believe that this local power structure is built on benevolence. I am not under the impression either that we are dealing with a group of people who are intentionally bad or evil. They are neither, they are simply human...Humans with unchecked power over the lives of other humans with no real voice.
The more I look at it, the more I am glad for the investigation. Too long have the staff of the BCP felt secure to behave in a way that disrespects not only themselves but the people they are paid to look after. Maybe once the FBI drops the hammer down on a few corrupt individuals, then the rest of the staff and administration will mind their actions...and behave more like human beings.
Karma.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Phenam Graphics
When I was doing work for the Ill Roc Records street team I ended up linking up with this homie Juanito Dorre from Phenam Graphics, an art collective in Bandung, Indonesia. These cats are dedicated to graphic design and music to the fullest...the work is super clean, professional and most importantly 110% original.
Something that makes Phenam unique in design is that they are part of the scene...they aren't just artists taking jobs for bands they've never heard of, they live the life. That makes them stand out in a world where a lot of graphic designers are just doing jobs for whoever. They put as much dedication into work for new artists as they do for hardcore veterans like Agnostic Front and Murphy's Law.
I just wanted to give these guys a plug...if you need some design work done for a punk/hXc/hip hop/metal project, let Phenam lace you up. In my eyes, they are THE ILLEST graphic design collective right now!!http://cargocollective.com/phenam
Something that makes Phenam unique in design is that they are part of the scene...they aren't just artists taking jobs for bands they've never heard of, they live the life. That makes them stand out in a world where a lot of graphic designers are just doing jobs for whoever. They put as much dedication into work for new artists as they do for hardcore veterans like Agnostic Front and Murphy's Law.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
The Way of the Buffalo
What the fuck happened to individuality? Maybe I just sound like a crabby old man, but I'm sick of cookie cutter hip hop and punk. What happened to taking chances and being yourself. Fuck uniformity, fuck conformity. You want that shit, go be a fucking nazi or a fratboy...suckaz!!
Scandal @ Butler County Prison
I can't say I was surprised when the Butler Eagle ran a story about alleged indiscretions on the part of staff at Butler County Prison. As someone who has unfortunately spent a lot of time at the facility I have heard many rumors over the years about guards, counselors, and even administrators taking advantage of their positions at the jail. It's common practice in that world for a bad seed to creep through once in a while...and it doesn't take a genius to calculate supply & demand in jail is higher in such a restricted environment. But strangely enough the scandal at Butler County Prison doesn't involve staff bringing in drugs...or any money making at all. No, BCP is embroiled in an even slimier situation. We have us a sex scandal.
Anyone who knows me knows that I have ALWAYS been of the mind and the opinion that the less I know about that sort of thing the better. Especially when doing time...I DON'T WANT dirt on the staff, it's a dangerous road to be on. That doesn't stop me from now having an opinion on the matter. And I definitely have a little something to say about the goings on at the old BCP. Of course ALL I have is OPINION, I know NOTHING first hand about the allegations, don't know the people making the allegations and have no interest in the accused.
Over the years I have heard of staff having inappropriate relations with female inmates. In general I ignore these stories...as that's what I take them as, stories. It's hard to dismiss allegations however when they consistently involve the same one or two staff members, and the same story over and over again.
For the sake of my readers who are not privy to the Butler Eagle, or Butler County and don't know the story I will lay out a brief version of my understanding of it: Recently some female prisoners have come forward claiming that as of now unnamed guards/counselors have approached the prisoners for sex, engaging in sexual relations with some of them. At some point the FBI became involved in the investigation and is currently pursuing the case.
That, as loose as it is, is what I know. Regardless of the outcome of the investigation, and what happened with who I think that the bigger picture here is the attitude of dominion that is fostered by the staff at the Butler County Prison. When individuals are given unchecked power over other individuals it creates a scary dynamic. In this situation, without the involvement of the FBI I have serious doubts that the investigation would have gone anywhere. In most jails, but more so @ BCP staff's word is taken as gospel, while anything any prisoner says is assumed to be untrue.
As I have mentioned, I have spent significant time at the Butler County Prison. I am a convict, I have made bad decisions, and owned my wrongdoing. I think this makes me more honest of a person. My mistakes are laid on the table...out in the open. I do not have the luxury of pretending to be infallible. I came up in the old school...word is bond and all that, and I live by that. To me a person's word is a valuable asset.
Bear with me while I build an example of the scrutiny one's word is put under by the staff at BCP. Some years ago a friend of mine introduced me to the Krsna Consciousness movement. I have since then studied Krsna consciousness in an effort to positively change my life. It is an ongoing process, but it has effected me deeply as an individual. Part of the Krsna consciousness movement, a staple of it really is that one does not eat meat. This is not an idle gesture, according to the law of karma, all life is precious...I do fall down but I try to keep my diet meat free. Upon being incarcerated last year I attempted to acquire a vegetarian diet while in Butler County Prison. I understand that this would come as a surprise to many of the staff there who know me as a street kid, when I was going to trial in o5, I had no spirituality. I was a trouble prisoner, in for aggravated assault, and spent much time in the hole. Coming back in 5 years later, much in my life had changed...Krsna consciousness had a profound effect on my demeanor, as had time. I went through literally MONTHS of meeting with various staff from guards to administration attempting to explain my conversion and my need to be on a vegetarian diet. Not only was I eventually flat out denied, the staff made it a point to express to me that they thought that I was lying about my beliefs simply to "get over" on the system by receiving vegetarian meals. Though I provided them with references to back my story, as well as receiving literature and studying Krsna consciousness daily, they scoffed at my claims. In the end a captain explained to me that though he was "familiar" with my beliefs they would not accommodate me because if they did, other prisoners might jump on the band wagon and request vegetarian diets.
I laid all that out simply to illustrate that no matter what, a prisoners word is going to be scrutinized...ultimately looked at as a lie no matter how irrational it would be for the prisoner to lie. So what we have is an environment where the staff knows that a prisoners word means basically nothing. To the average ethical individual this means little...but for a corrupt person this knowledge could give them a sense of security that they can do whatever they want with little or no chance that they will ever be caught. After all its their word against the prisoner's word.
So now we have this scandal where guards and/or counselors are being accused of sex with prisoners. Do I believe these allegations? I don't know...like I mentioned before I have consistently heard a few staff member's names come up in the same type of stories for years, and I have witnessed that these people answer to no one...so I think its possible.
To me it comes back to the attitude of dominion. Many of these prison workers feel that they are untouchable...unfortunately now for them the FBI is involved, and something will come out of it. And I think that its a shame that it has gotten to this point. There are many good people who work at BCP, hardworking and ethical men and women who will now be scrutinized because of a minorities indiscretion. But I guess thats a karma, no?
In closing I have to say that the staff at BCP would do better to police itself instead of turning a blind eye to misconduct. Have some pride in you character, and keep in mind that dirty laundry does surface...
Anyone who knows me knows that I have ALWAYS been of the mind and the opinion that the less I know about that sort of thing the better. Especially when doing time...I DON'T WANT dirt on the staff, it's a dangerous road to be on. That doesn't stop me from now having an opinion on the matter. And I definitely have a little something to say about the goings on at the old BCP. Of course ALL I have is OPINION, I know NOTHING first hand about the allegations, don't know the people making the allegations and have no interest in the accused.
Over the years I have heard of staff having inappropriate relations with female inmates. In general I ignore these stories...as that's what I take them as, stories. It's hard to dismiss allegations however when they consistently involve the same one or two staff members, and the same story over and over again.
For the sake of my readers who are not privy to the Butler Eagle, or Butler County and don't know the story I will lay out a brief version of my understanding of it: Recently some female prisoners have come forward claiming that as of now unnamed guards/counselors have approached the prisoners for sex, engaging in sexual relations with some of them. At some point the FBI became involved in the investigation and is currently pursuing the case.
That, as loose as it is, is what I know. Regardless of the outcome of the investigation, and what happened with who I think that the bigger picture here is the attitude of dominion that is fostered by the staff at the Butler County Prison. When individuals are given unchecked power over other individuals it creates a scary dynamic. In this situation, without the involvement of the FBI I have serious doubts that the investigation would have gone anywhere. In most jails, but more so @ BCP staff's word is taken as gospel, while anything any prisoner says is assumed to be untrue.
As I have mentioned, I have spent significant time at the Butler County Prison. I am a convict, I have made bad decisions, and owned my wrongdoing. I think this makes me more honest of a person. My mistakes are laid on the table...out in the open. I do not have the luxury of pretending to be infallible. I came up in the old school...word is bond and all that, and I live by that. To me a person's word is a valuable asset.
Bear with me while I build an example of the scrutiny one's word is put under by the staff at BCP. Some years ago a friend of mine introduced me to the Krsna Consciousness movement. I have since then studied Krsna consciousness in an effort to positively change my life. It is an ongoing process, but it has effected me deeply as an individual. Part of the Krsna consciousness movement, a staple of it really is that one does not eat meat. This is not an idle gesture, according to the law of karma, all life is precious...I do fall down but I try to keep my diet meat free. Upon being incarcerated last year I attempted to acquire a vegetarian diet while in Butler County Prison. I understand that this would come as a surprise to many of the staff there who know me as a street kid, when I was going to trial in o5, I had no spirituality. I was a trouble prisoner, in for aggravated assault, and spent much time in the hole. Coming back in 5 years later, much in my life had changed...Krsna consciousness had a profound effect on my demeanor, as had time. I went through literally MONTHS of meeting with various staff from guards to administration attempting to explain my conversion and my need to be on a vegetarian diet. Not only was I eventually flat out denied, the staff made it a point to express to me that they thought that I was lying about my beliefs simply to "get over" on the system by receiving vegetarian meals. Though I provided them with references to back my story, as well as receiving literature and studying Krsna consciousness daily, they scoffed at my claims. In the end a captain explained to me that though he was "familiar" with my beliefs they would not accommodate me because if they did, other prisoners might jump on the band wagon and request vegetarian diets.
I laid all that out simply to illustrate that no matter what, a prisoners word is going to be scrutinized...ultimately looked at as a lie no matter how irrational it would be for the prisoner to lie. So what we have is an environment where the staff knows that a prisoners word means basically nothing. To the average ethical individual this means little...but for a corrupt person this knowledge could give them a sense of security that they can do whatever they want with little or no chance that they will ever be caught. After all its their word against the prisoner's word.
So now we have this scandal where guards and/or counselors are being accused of sex with prisoners. Do I believe these allegations? I don't know...like I mentioned before I have consistently heard a few staff member's names come up in the same type of stories for years, and I have witnessed that these people answer to no one...so I think its possible.
To me it comes back to the attitude of dominion. Many of these prison workers feel that they are untouchable...unfortunately now for them the FBI is involved, and something will come out of it. And I think that its a shame that it has gotten to this point. There are many good people who work at BCP, hardworking and ethical men and women who will now be scrutinized because of a minorities indiscretion. But I guess thats a karma, no?
In closing I have to say that the staff at BCP would do better to police itself instead of turning a blind eye to misconduct. Have some pride in you character, and keep in mind that dirty laundry does surface...
Monday, January 9, 2012
20 Months of Parole
I am riding out 20 months parole currently. Things are going to be hard at times, but after a decade of jail and probation it seems like cake at this point. My biggest concern right now is getting back into the 9 to 5 world. Once I have the job thing covered, it'll be a cruise.
I want to use this next 20 months to get organized, out together some executable plans and follow through with extreme prejudice. It is time for me to lay back, enjoy the simple things in life...having a good woman, good friends in my life. It is time to repair things with my family and just live.
Some very good friends have been placed in my life that exposed me to Krsna consciousness...Its time for me to develop spiritually. Ultimately time to live up to my potential.
I have 20 months of reflection and growth ahead. I look forward to this and embrace it.
Prison Rant
It is so easy, too easy really, for someone to sit back and talk tough about prison policy. I often come across rants online about how people think prisons and jails should be run..."They need to feed them less, more control that way." "Jails are like resorts...they have cable tv, air conditioning, wheres the punishment?" or "I can't believe these scumbags are afforded medical care and counseling...they should be locked down 24/7 until they are released." While these cartoonishly harsh ideas SHOULD be laughable, they are all too common, and spoken by people with NO frame of reference...people who have never worked at or lived in prison, people who have NO grasp on the concept of management.
As someone who has been to jail, and as a reasonably intelligent individual I feel like I have a strong grasp on what it takes to run a prison smoothly. For the armchair hard asses who think that prison should be worse...common sense dictates that people with nothing to lose are dangerous, more dangerous than they would be otherwise. It is amazing to me that people can't see this.
The point of jail is lack of freedom, for all intents and purposes that's it. That lack of freedom is punishment enough. For people who think jail life is vacation...You are morons, and willfully ignorant. If you think being locked in a box with cable tv and air conditioning is vacation, then you're a strange bird. The lack of freedom is a state that most people couldn't understand. Losing your freedom, even if only once and for a short time will forever change you.
Something to think on is this: Anyone can end up in jail or prison...especially now. Have you ever been in a fight? THAT could send you to jail...maybe prison, maybe for a great deal of time depending on what state you are in. Drive drunk... that's a jail time offense.
As someone who has been to jail, and as a reasonably intelligent individual I feel like I have a strong grasp on what it takes to run a prison smoothly. For the armchair hard asses who think that prison should be worse...common sense dictates that people with nothing to lose are dangerous, more dangerous than they would be otherwise. It is amazing to me that people can't see this.
The point of jail is lack of freedom, for all intents and purposes that's it. That lack of freedom is punishment enough. For people who think jail life is vacation...You are morons, and willfully ignorant. If you think being locked in a box with cable tv and air conditioning is vacation, then you're a strange bird. The lack of freedom is a state that most people couldn't understand. Losing your freedom, even if only once and for a short time will forever change you.
Something to think on is this: Anyone can end up in jail or prison...especially now. Have you ever been in a fight? THAT could send you to jail...maybe prison, maybe for a great deal of time depending on what state you are in. Drive drunk... that's a jail time offense.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
American Hardcore-Banned in the BCP
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Before going any further I will point out that in the Butler County Prison's rules and regulations it is stated that if the warden deems ANY material as having a "negative effect on the prison" that any such material will be banned... in the end the warden's word is final and unquestionable. No matter what the content, if the warden decides the book would have a negative effect on the prison...he could disallow it, no questions asked. In all reality the warden answers to no one.
Please refer to BCP's actual page online @ http://www.co.butler.pa.us/butler/cwp/view.asp?a=1491&q=608492
During the beginning part of my most recent stay at the BCP, my homeboy Xade sent me a book through Amazon.com. The book, American Hardcore by Steven Blush is a self described "tribal history" of the genesis and progression of the american hardcore punk movement, cultural and musical. In the administration's words the book was denied due to content.
Upon receiving the book(or NOT receiving it really) I was directed by an officer to sign that I acknowledged that the book was inappropriate and would be placed in my personal property. I asked the officer why the book was not being allowed in and his reply was something to the effect of a captain had seen it and had determined that there were "gang affiliations" through out the book. By gang affiliations the captain was referring to the various anarchy symbols and swastikas used in early hardcore art work.
Not even getting into the full logistics of this...if the good captain would have taken on the task of familiarizing herself with the material within she would have seen that the swastikas were used in either an ironic or anti-nazi fashion, that white supremacists are NOT welcome in the hardcore scene and that these were symbols being used by rebellious youth, not a gang or seditious politial group.
Digressing a little here...After much contemplation I decided to file a grievance to at least plead my case, appeal to the intellect of the administration. I thought that I could explain to them that the book was about a cultural movement...one that was at best chaotic and dynamic, one that's ideation was not at all racist, but the opposite...most of all that the book was about music.
Long story short-I got the run around. The captain denied having any knowledge of the book saying that the decision was that of an officer in charge of books...the same officer said it definitely WAS the captain's decision and NOT his. With all my experience in correctional facilities I know that when admin is lying to you that the battle is over. Idealistically one could cry to a higher authority, get the ACLU involved, sue for infringement of some real or imagined constitutional right. But this is Butler County aka Hazzard County and they do as they please and ultimately answer to no one. At this point, I felt as if this battle was basically for naught. I now refer back to the 5th restriction designation in the above linked prison policy...that everything is at the warden's discretion.
There are so many directions I could go with this...the pure and willful arrogant ignorance of the prison admin, the hypocritical of policy that allows "ghetto fiction"(basically violent smut centered in worlds filled with cocaine dealers and gang members) books like Mein Kampf. Even going out on a limb and saying that NO book causes disruption to ANY institution...unruly inmates do, and will do so with or without reading material.
Again, I'm just a college drop out what do I know?
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Adele
A new beginning(again)
I have been out of jail now for a little over a week. 90 days for not reporting to probation...actually it was a total of a year for this offense, 9 months last year and the 3 I just did. Getting out of jail is one of the greatest feelings ever...but it comes with a steep price tag.
I am 35 years old with a hefty rap sheet. The worst and most memorable charge was an aggravated assault in 05. The details leading up to the assault are unimportant right now(I'll visit that in another entry)but on a bleak night in early March 2005 I entered a man's house and beat him without mercy. Brass knuckles were used, the aftermath was that John would have bled to death had the EMT's not been called. At the ER John was put back together with 20 some staples, not stitches. He has permanent scarring, a collapsed cheekbone and some minor neurological damage from the attack.
Over the years as a result of much introspection I became painfully aware of my error. That I not only committed senseless violence upon someone, but I had entered his home, violated his sanctuary and taken that security away from him, not to mention the physical scars. I am not proud of what I did...and I would of course handle the situation differently if it was on my plate today.
As a result of not making a statement on my self upon arrest, and the fact that I was prepared to go to trial the district attorney gave me a deal I couldn't turn down after doing the better part of a year in jail. They offered to drop the charges down to simple assault & criminal trespass, give me 9 to 18 months in jail with 6 years probation to follow.
As the old saying goes: "thats how they getcha"...And I have been on probation for that case since. I've also been to jail frequently since then, not for breaking laws but for breaking rules. Most of my violations have been for not reporting to probation...in all I have probably done close to 2 years since 05 due to not reporting to probation.
I was turned in last year(2010)...sat for 9 months, was let out before I should have been and just served the remainder of the sentence(sept to dec). I am free with no real fear of having to return to jail. I am at a crossroads...time to do the 9 to 5 life, ready to live that way. I am currently putting in applications to secure a job to get some income rolling in, whether its a job I like or one with a future doesn't matter at this point...I'll just be happy to get on a schedule even if its food service for now, something else will come along eventually. I'll keep writing, get back into making art...attempt to make music here and there. I'm not the kind of person who gives up being himself...it's just a new era for me.
I am 35 years old with a hefty rap sheet. The worst and most memorable charge was an aggravated assault in 05. The details leading up to the assault are unimportant right now(I'll visit that in another entry)but on a bleak night in early March 2005 I entered a man's house and beat him without mercy. Brass knuckles were used, the aftermath was that John would have bled to death had the EMT's not been called. At the ER John was put back together with 20 some staples, not stitches. He has permanent scarring, a collapsed cheekbone and some minor neurological damage from the attack.
Over the years as a result of much introspection I became painfully aware of my error. That I not only committed senseless violence upon someone, but I had entered his home, violated his sanctuary and taken that security away from him, not to mention the physical scars. I am not proud of what I did...and I would of course handle the situation differently if it was on my plate today.
As a result of not making a statement on my self upon arrest, and the fact that I was prepared to go to trial the district attorney gave me a deal I couldn't turn down after doing the better part of a year in jail. They offered to drop the charges down to simple assault & criminal trespass, give me 9 to 18 months in jail with 6 years probation to follow.
As the old saying goes: "thats how they getcha"...And I have been on probation for that case since. I've also been to jail frequently since then, not for breaking laws but for breaking rules. Most of my violations have been for not reporting to probation...in all I have probably done close to 2 years since 05 due to not reporting to probation.
I was turned in last year(2010)...sat for 9 months, was let out before I should have been and just served the remainder of the sentence(sept to dec). I am free with no real fear of having to return to jail. I am at a crossroads...time to do the 9 to 5 life, ready to live that way. I am currently putting in applications to secure a job to get some income rolling in, whether its a job I like or one with a future doesn't matter at this point...I'll just be happy to get on a schedule even if its food service for now, something else will come along eventually. I'll keep writing, get back into making art...attempt to make music here and there. I'm not the kind of person who gives up being himself...it's just a new era for me.
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